2007 Summary

You’ll have to draw you own conclusions as to what type of year 2007 has been for me. I’m not sure myself, one thing for sure, is that there have been a lot of people this year that I should thank for been around and this is what I want to do here.

2006 ended with me breaking my ankle at a works party, which resulted in me needing surgery to repair the break. This was followed by 8 weeks off work, followed by a further 12 weeks of physiotherapy. The events of that stage of 2007 made me realise a few things about my life – mainly, things can never be as bad as they seem in normal day-to-day life – things can always be worse.

I battled hard for my Foundation Degree to catch up on the missed teaching and assignments, which were only average. This meant that a good result was needed in the exams for me to pass. Like I said earlier, I’d stopped worrying about trivial things in my life (even wanting children had entered my mind, and this was huge for me).

I completed my exams and all that was left to do, was wait and enjoy the summer. The course had been over 3 years and I had made some really good friends – Brett, Luke, Dan and John. It was a little sad to say goodbye to these guys as I thought I’d never see them again in any other way other than a professional mannor. I was pleased when these guys made it to my leaving do and made the effort to keep in touch!

About a month after my exams, Emily, my wife told me that she wasn’t happy enough with the way our relationship was going and she wanted us to split up. My life was shattered. Everything I’d worked towards since I was old enough to have aspirations (and I’d achieved), rapidly fell to pieces. I had lost the most precious thing in my life, my rock, the person I could let the entire world fall down around me and not flinch, so long as I had them to hold, had gone.

Things could have gone two ways for me; I could have stopped living and crawled into a hole of self pity or I could have stood up to be counted for – I had never given up on anything in my life, so, although I was still hurting very badly, I tried to focus in the things I had left in my life; my family, friends and job.

The marriage was over. I had so much fight in me to rescue things, but Emily seemed to have done her thinking and fighting was not an option.

Not long after the start of all this I got a call from the University saying that I’d achieved a Distinction and managed to achieve the top mark in our year, getting a personal commendation from the Dean of Engineering. I was proud of this, but at that time I would have traded it to be back in my own life.

Everything in the break up was happening very fast. I got my head down at work and buried myself in that. I’d moved teams earlier in the year to do more of a role that I wanted to do. I quickly became one of the team and brought a different set of skills and attributes to the table. Together, the team me, Garry and Gerry played hard and worked hard. This made the things that were going on in my home life have less of an impact, as work became something of a distraction. A huge thanks to Garry and Gerry – simply the best people I have and I think I will, ever work with.

From the breakdown emerged, the best and I hope long lasting friendship I had ever had. A guy from the course, Brett Kirk, who had been and was still going through, a very tough marriage break-up himself, made the biggest effort of all my friends, (you all know who you are, and I’m grateful for the time you have given me) to keep me off the ground. I am so indebted to Brett for this and regret that I couldn’t have understood his situation earlier and been there for him, at probably the toughest time of his life. We had a few good nights out and then followed them with days out in the county side where we would talk for hours as well as think lots about our lives.
Brett and I were the guys on the course who seemed to have the most fun and never expected to do as well as we did but we finished up been the top two in the group at the end of the course.

Brett pretty much dragged me to graduation, we were the only two there from the group. I’m glad he did because this was the start of the light at the end of the tunnel. We had a great night and one of the phrases of the year came from my hung-over conversation with the ticket office. ‘I don’t no!’

About 2 weeks after graduation me and Brett found ourselves in Ibiza on a 2 minute decision and one phone call. That was it; Ibiza was possibly the most emotional week of 2007 for me and I suspect Brett too.

We let our hair down this week and were just ourselves – it was awesome. We realised that we’d both been something else for someone else for so long, and now the real guys were coming out. Don’t get me wrong, I’d wanted to be what I had been and the life I had, I had dreamed of since I was a kid.

We met some of the best people ever in Ibiza, especially Pete Osbourne, a Captain serving in the British army in Iraq. He said that mine and Brett’s company was just what he wanted, but his company and Brett’s was just what I needed. Pete was the most inspirational person that I have ever met and such a great bloke. He made me feel good in myself again if only for a week, but he gave me so much more fight to go home with. I’ll never forget the email he sent me once we were back. That week I’d started to live again, thanks to Pete and Brett! This was just as well as this week could have made or broke me, but I arrived home a different person. I’d learned that you can only worry about things in your own control. I’d come to realise that nothing matters except what I want. I know that sounds selfish, but I’d tried things so differently and ended up in a heap with nothing, except me and what I did.

Before I’d gone to Ibiza, Rob and I had been discussing the possibility of leaving everything behind for a year to travel Australia, Asia & India. After Ibiza and Pete Osbourne’s inspiration, I’d decided that I was going whatever happened. The house had sold and I only had a week to move out and find somewhere to live. I had an offer at home, but I’m not sure if it was a pride thing or I just wanting more privacy, but I wanted to live away from home. Someone once told me ‘you find out who your true friends are when you really need them’ – and I have this year.

The night after I had moved out and spent some time at my parents, Michelle, a friend of Emily’s who had become a friend of mine, called out of the blue to offer me her spare room. I was nearly in tears at this kind offer. Even prior to this I thought Michelle was a superb person and this just cemented it. Michelle deserves all the happiness she can get in life as she’s such a lovely person.

Soon after Ibiza I told work that I was gong away for a year and would like to return to work there. They worked hard to secure me a sabbatical, especially Graeme, but one of the conditions was that they had to find a suitable replacement. They couldn’t find a replacement with the right skills to fit into my shoes; however Graeme pushed and secured my sabbatical. So that was it – we were off. The flights were booked and we were in off in November 2007 to return 52 weeks later. Thank you Graeme – I know how you love adventure – I I’ll do it properly down here for sure!

This is where I write this as 2007 comes to a close. We’ve not been out here long but we’ve met the most mature 18 yr olds I’ve ever met, 3 guys from Melbourne, Roscoe, Matt & Ryan. These three have had the adventure of a lifetime and travelled for a year in their own country in ‘Troopie’ their 4x4 Toyota Land Cruiser. Their story has inspired me so much for the months ahead – such great guys.

I’ve not felt homesick, but I’ve done a lot of thinking about me when I return home, what I’m going to do, and what I must do, thoughts may change, but it’s a starting point. I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about the people who have helped me through this tough year – a big thanks to you all. Obviously I’ve done much thinking about Emily. How we may have done things wrong and I would have loved to have given things a second chance… but where do chances stop?

I have no ill feelings towards Emily, I have admiration and respect for the decision that she made. I feel for her as she’s going through the rough at present and I would have loved to have been there for her in this difficult time. I’m glad we are still close friends and were until I left, but I cannot see how this can be when I return as I still have love for her and it would be crushing to see her having what I wanted, with another person. I hope we can remain good friends and wish her all the best.

So that’s it, my 2007 summary. I may do a 2008 one, but then again the year maybe uneventful.

This is here is not about sympathy, it’s about my year 2007, simply year of 2 halves. Its my honest thoughts and I thought it would be wrong putting them here – but then one of the people I have the utmost respect for said, ‘Pete, its you, its your honest thoughts. Don’t worry what people think’.
2007 is the worst year of my life, but I’m discovering new friends at every corner. Maybe me and Emily should have lived things out differently, I will next time.

No sympathy, read the lows and see the highs. I’m doing what I feel and keeping it real. I’m not great, but here’s to 2008.

“Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”